The power of words - how we speak to ourselves and others

You may have heard the old saying, 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' Unfortunately this couldn't be further from the truth.

Words are extremely powerful and have the ability to cause a lasting impact on not only ourselves, but those we interact with.

We all know that communicating well is extremely important. Being open and honest with a loved-one about your relationship can go a long way to fixing many problems and building trust, but being hurtful or patronising can wound and hurt the other person's feelings and damage your bond.

In the workplace, communicating in a professional manner can influence how others perceive and respond to you. It can help determine how well liked and respected you are.

Generally, talking with kindness to our families, whether they are adults or children, and anyone else we come across can leave a lasting positive impact on them, helping us build stronger connections.

The power of words in our romantic relationships

When you're in a romantic relationship, especially at the beginning, we often invest time and effort into the other person and show our affection in the form of romantic gestures, gifts and compliments. However, as time goes on and you become more comfortable with each other, you can often forget the profound impact words can continue to have on your partner.

It's important to remember how words of affirmation and small acknowledgements can make all the difference. Research suggests that positive language can boost our mood and deepen intimacy. 

To make your partner feel valued and loved, try expressing your gratitude in a different way from normal. Instead of a simple ‘thank you,' say ‘I appreciate everything you do for me/us,' which can resonate more deeply.

Similarly, instead of an ‘I love you,' which can become a type of reflex after years of being together, consider saying ‘I'm happy you're in my life,' or something similar, as this reinforces your commitment to your partner.

During stressful times in your relationship, it's important to take a step back and reflect on how you're communicating with each other. After all, good communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

The power of words when talking to or about ourselves

The way we talk about ourselves is just as important as how we talk to other people. Our words define how we see ourselves.

The inner-voice in our heads can often be a critical or negative one, but how would you feel if a friend or family member spoke to you out loud the way you speak to or about yourself? You'd most likely be offended and hurt, so why do we think it's ok to talk to ourselves in this way?

Giving ourselves a little pep-talk can help boost our self confidence and improve our mood, while speaking negatively about ourselves can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression.

Practice saying kind things to yourself in the mirror. It might feel silly at first but it can really help in the long run. Try writing daily affirmations and compliment yourself/your body or whatever you are feeling less than confident about within yourself.

Empowering yourself with kind and positive words can make a huge difference in your overall well being. You should treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you give to others in order to boost your self-esteem.

Stress and its impact on how we use our words

It's important to manage our stress, patience and anxiety as they can all have an impact on the words we use. 

Studies have shown that the more stressed you are, the less complex your thoughts are, meaning you won't be thinking about the words you're using and may say something you don't really mean.

If you're in a workplace setting, communicate your problems with your boss and colleagues. Some people may not even be aware of your workload and can potentially take tasks from you to lighten the load and relieve the stress.

In your relationships, communicate with your friends and loved-ones in order to not let a situation escalate. You can then put together a plan to manage what's causing you stress.

At this time of year, and with the summer holidays fast approaching, parents might be finding themselves in particularly stressful situations and turning to words that might not be the most thoughtful or kindest, particularly with the prospect of a long summer spent with children at home and having to come up with different ways to keep them entertained.

Try to understand the source of your stress in the moment, as not everyone has the same triggers. 

Are your children's noise levels excessive?

Are they bored/hungry/tired? 

Have you had enough of a break from caring for your children? 

Can anyone else help with childcare? 

Could you book some summer clubs for them to attend?

Take a step back to notice what your stress triggers are, take a breather and communicate with those around you.